A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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Y2K

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops