How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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Justin Bieber

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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