man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops