High school gym class.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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Hi

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

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roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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