How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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