A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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1unno;njfjk

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Obama is a good president.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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