How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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Junior's love life.

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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8============D PEN1S

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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