what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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hi

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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