Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

Like this joke

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

Communism

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

An asian walks out of math class

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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