How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

How many dislikes can this get?

A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

Yo mama so fat she died

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

Yeah, totally.

A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

Justin Bieber

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...