Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

69

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -110

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops