What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Rebecca Black.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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