- Anti Joke

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

Like this joke

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

HTML

What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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