why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Black people

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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Don't rape me!

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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