What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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