What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey Caleb.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ancient Greeks rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops