What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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