I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

69

What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

a black guy leaves prison

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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