what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -39

no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

thumb_up thumb_down -87

What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -10

friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Haiku's can be fun But they don't always make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +151

What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +180

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

thumb_up thumb_down -12

2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does kelly keep going on about breasts ? cus shes into chicks !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops