What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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Horse tits

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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He is so gay that he likes penis.

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Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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a couple argue and spend the night 96ing each other

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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