How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

no u

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +24

do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the chicken cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock It's open, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Can I touch it?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I LIKE TURLES.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops