suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -73

3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -119

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops