Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

fart

yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

women's rights

What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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