A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Come in

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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Penis

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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