Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Got milk? No.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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