What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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