What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

barack osama

thumb_up thumb_down +42

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's your name? You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

thumb_up thumb_down +40

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops