- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

Sea World Japan.

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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