what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Baseball

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Penis

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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