“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Real jokes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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i am predestal

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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Lacrosse

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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9:11 make a wish

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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