What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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you are gay

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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Nicholas Cage

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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