There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

What's 1+1? 4.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

haha.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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