What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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hi my name is? joe

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-What's a real anti joke? -This.

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Come in

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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why did the man die? he got shot

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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