Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What's 1+1? 4.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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haha.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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