Your mum is dead

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Men's rights

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Please don't rape me.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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