What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

shabalabadingdong JLR

A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

i am predestal

What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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