Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats better than shoes feet

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Jewish People

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

gay marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops