If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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I am black.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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barack osama

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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