how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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