What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

this website...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Fruitcake

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops