Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +47

-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +43

throbbing slobber

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The size of Idris Elba's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +35

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock. Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops