What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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The WNBA

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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The geese of Growmore

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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I won the game.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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