What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Noah is Smart.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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DANA

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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