What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +35

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The size of Idris Elba's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +31

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops