What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

ur mother

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

I'm gay. Great me too.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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