Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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Write your own

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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What does a man like. food.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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