A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Fruitcake

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops