Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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steves legs

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Jews for Jesus

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Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

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whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops