What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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Brett Farve

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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