What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What has human male genitalia? A human male

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a banana

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Slavery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops