What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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