If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

thumb_up thumb_down +112

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

I am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops