A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Canada

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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Dear John,

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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